Friday, June 27, 2014

FOUR ELEMENTS: THE FIRST ELEMENT IS AIR



Of all the elements, air or wind is the most mysterious. It is what gives life to all creatures on this earth.  And when it is done, each of us has breathed our last.
                                                    ~Karla

Now Wind asked Ababinili if she could have the humans as her children, but again, Ababinili said, "No, they can't be your children, but they can be your grandchildren so you can remove the unclean air and all kinds of diseases.” 
                                                                           ~A Chickasaw Legend




I AM THE WIND…

I am the wind who rages fiercely during a storm, who bows tree limbs over in pain, yanking branches and ripping leaves from their source. I am the wind who produces funnel clouds, destroying homes, pulling up the roots of trees and relationships held dear. I am the wind who whines low moans through the trees on an eerie dark night. I am spooky, for I scream a voiceless music, sending piercing chills up and down spines.

I am the wind who barks icy winds into winter, my biting breath seeking warmth beneath protective coats, whipping stabbing coldness into unwary backs. I am the wind who annoyingly blows precious papers from groping hands, sending them rolling, turning, and twisting.

Like a teenager bolting through the door, almost stepping on the dog, not noticing her grandmother sitting in a rocker in the living room...I am the wind.

I, too, am the summer breeze who sings sweet lullabies through the trees and over green grasses. I am the wind who gracefully pushes the sails of floating rafts. I am the hearty breeze who gives a reassuring voice to questing uplifted faces, sending a fresh air of heroic calm to surge within them. I am the wind who bears the seeds of tomorrow’s life, dispersing them over this vast earth.

I am the gusty breeze who blows through trees, swishing and dancing their leaves that tilt and sway in sheer ecstasy.  I am the quieting breeze who comes in comfort, wafting into musty corners, consoling children, dogs, and elders, as they lie weak and afraid. I am the autumn breeze who mournfully, yet resignedly, tugs at the leaves of yesterday’s life and sends them silently to the grounds of death. I am the gentle breeze who dries tears from red-eyed faces. I am the wind who gives seasons their life, dutifully answering the calls of my command.

I am in Nami and her gentle surprise of nosing my hand after the hike, saying, “Thank-you for taking the time.”

If I frighten you, is that not simply your response to me? I am not here to frighten you. I can be extreme: I can hurt, destroy, and give ghostly chills of doubt. And yet, I give comfort, strength, tranquility, grace and life. I can do only as my nature wills. My demands are great. I cannot choose to be only the soothing breezes. Would you rather that I end my breath, with nature fading out because there is no one left to blow the breath of life into her creation? Or will you accept me—my rasping and turbulent winds as well as my sweet and tranquil breezes—all my airs enunciating my offering to life?



Friday, June 20, 2014

LOVE’S SWEET BREATH


"White Mane" by Donna Bernstein, (Used with Permission; www.donnabernstein.com)

I’ve been in development. The chaff is shaken from my life. What mattered was engagement and being there: for others, animals, world; and yes, for me.

Okay, maybe that’s the crux. Despite efforts to the contrary, my needs were put on the “back burner.” I’ve been in a shift for years.

When my body first got sick, this lesson came: “Be she who is Sacrificed, Martyred or be the Server.” With early life training in the first two, I thought I had transformed.

As samskaras go, this complex was formidable. (Samskaras: Sanskrit word meaning inherited previous-life tendencies that are the psyche’s impressions.) It was quite a storm.

This past year has found me receiving. Receiving love, grace, gifts, generosities, acknowledgement, wisdom and encouragement.

A week ago, I found a gift of desert-colored socks in my mailbox...along with a beautiful card with a horse on the front. My friend wrote: "Let this gift be a symbol of a universal law; 'Ask and you shall receive.'”

Dan Fogelberg wrote this in a song: “Changing horses in the middle of a stream gets you old.” That’s true. It gets you worn and hungry, too. And through others’ love and faith in me, it's getting me free. Old, it turns out, is a temporary condition.

I once saw my life five to fifteen years out and was given road maps. Now I sense opaque openings of light and hope that guide me into new moments.

Before, my practice was breathe in and breathe out. Notice. Be aware. Imbue uplifting passages into my mind and heart. Discover my place of belonging. Relish relationship harmony.

Now it is different. Breathe in and breathe out is not mine to do. It does. I allow. My highest calling is love. Love to me. Love to you. Love to our world. Love to the cranky neighbor who complains. Love to the Navaho Nation, the trees, animals and their people:


Love to people who curse life. Love to those who don't. Love to family. Love to birthdays. Love to animal stewards. Love to those who kill. Love to the peacemakers. Love to organizations hoarding money. Love to new work honored. Love to wading into new pools together.

I wrote this poem in praise of this fresh air that is blowing through me:

Winds Countenance

Winds countenance
Deliberate, swaying,
Gentle in freshness
Of airs

Wiser than I it seems
Who lies best
Happily always
Fully embraced
By penetrating heat
Of Mother Sun

The wind awakens me
This hour
To freshness of day
Hints of dewdrops
An invitation to climb

Wind calls me from my place of rest,
Covered as though I am

In spiritual words that drink me
I know their cup of
Freshness needed
Reawakening vast souls,
In modern light

Hopkins, Chief Seattle, Jane
Goodall, Thoreau, Emmett Fox
Twelve steps, twenty and eight

No wonder I need breeze
Welcomed stirrings
To pull me out
From my den

My old life passed on to where all incarnations go when complete. So did the personality structure that housed it. Chunks of me disappeared. I do not need to divorce or harm my ego to gain new ground. That is not the way.

LOVE is the STRONGEST of all POWERS...ego, fully embraced, gives way as rivers merge into the SEA. Love is bigger than all negative conversations, images and events.

We need a renaissance. That is what I learned, stripped down. We don’t need to fight for the animals, the world or ourselves. We all do need infusions of love.  

How about you, Reader? When has your life been stripped down, transformed? When you were infused with the sweet breath of fresh air?




Friday, June 13, 2014

IN THE NAME OF LOVE: Let The Bees Be


In the name of love, we need to find better ways.

The other day, with sweltering heat engulfing me (which is my favorite), I sat for just a bit in the sun at the local pool. I was ready to dive into my book, Beyond Innocence, Autobiography In Letters by Jane Goodall.

Instead, a neighbor greeted me. Our conversation led one thing into the other. One of my neighbor’s friends hurried down the steps to plunge in. I was standing on the other steps, readying myself to enter the cool waters.  In that moment, a bee stung me. Not just “ouch”, but time out for reflection.

When I had Lyme disease, I was highly allergic to bee stings. After a few words with the women at the pool, I went back home. While I have been stung only a few times, it was my first sting in a while. I had the meds, anyway, and I used them. Safety first. Epinephrine or homeopathic high dose remedies? I chose the latter. I was breathing easily, no headache, and the swelling on my arm, while near my heart, was not a balloon. Great! I am truly no longer allergic. Yippee!

While dashing about, I recalled my conversation with the three women before I left the pool. It was about African bees. In “Trip To Chimfunshi,” I describe the outbreak of bees into what was to be a notable relocation of baby chimpanzees. And notable, it became. http://namasteglobalvision.s3-website-us-east 1.amazonaws.com/NamasteTriptoChimfunshi%20copy.pdf 

What most disheartened me about the sting started at the pool. Even in the face of my calm demeanor, one woman wanted to drown the bees. Wow, how quickly the conversation turned to ’killing as the first solution'.  http://consultingforpassion.blogspot.com/2014/05/choosing-to-live-and-let-live.html
In the name of love, if we are going to put an end to the killing paradigm, we must find better ways. [1] 

I did not start out to write about bees but about other loving solutions. Because of that day, and the communications since, the bees leave Jane Goodall and her contribution in wait. http://www.janegoodall.org/study-corner-biography   So, bees it is.

The loss of bees was so important in 2011 that the keynote speaker, Ariana Stozzi, introduced the bees into our International Big Sky Horse Conference. By 2011, bees were a global concern. http://www.earthaction.org/2012/02/ccd.html 

So how is the world responding?  PBS Nature is offering a positive way. http://www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/episodes/silence-of-the-bees/how-can-you-help-the-bees/36/ 

Another way comes from: “We Save Bees”. What a loving solution.Visit groups like: http://honeylove.org/rescuebees/ and  http://www.wesavebees.com/.

One year, I did find a local beekeeper who removed bees and a nest from my home. Neither the beekeeper nor I were stung.  The bees were happy and continued to live.

Dear Reader, are you willing to explore? What is one practice you will engage in that sustains life in our precious ecosystem?

As for me, I close with an old favorite of mine from the intrepid “Sixties”:

Happiness runs in a circular motion.
Everyone is a part of everything anyway.
You can have everything if you let yourself be.

                                                     Donovan



[1] When I went to Africa, I did not realize how Apis Mellifica was made. Bees are killed in its preparation. Two homeopathic remedies for bee stings (vegetarian, not vegan), are Sulfur and Histaminum. Epi, of course, involves animal experimentation that both harms and kills animals.

Friday, June 6, 2014

TRANSITING SPIRIT



Gismo:

I am a sound sleeper when I am nine years old. Yet when our beloved dog, a beautiful brown Cocker Spaniel, Gismo, comes into my room, late one night, I open my eyes. He gently eases his body down onto the rug. Liquid brown eyes gaze into mine. The look of pure love is there. His eyes then take me into deeper shores. Soon after, he exhales and is gone.

I lie there watching him. His big old brown eyes are now forever closed. I watch for a few moments careful to make sure his furry body is unmoving. Where once was breath, now there is none.

I lie there in witness to quiet interlude. I am too young to know those words then. Yet, Gismo’s peaceful dying remains in my heart and being.

Muriel:

I am one day away from boarding a plane for Hawaii. I’m eager for my osteopathic treatment that will help me release the sciatic pain, preparing me for travels. I have been seeing the celebrated Dr. Muriel Morgan Chapman for a few years. I know fully her miracle touch.

Arriving there, I have no time to sit under her sprawling oak tree. The door to her office is uncharacteristically wide open. Slowly, I walk over to it. I find Muriel lying face up on one of her treatment tables. Quietly she says, “I have fallen. I cannot get up.”

She requests me to help her get into her house. While her house is only yards away, momentarily I wonder how I will accomplish this, given my injury. As if on cue, another car pulls up the long driveway and parks. Together we help Muriel into her house.

It becomes clear speaking first with Muriel, and then her daughter, that no one is in place to care for Muriel during this stage of her life. She has cancer and the treatments are no longer working. Muriel is well into her eighties.

My first planned vacation in years is mysteriously rearranged. Overnight, I become a hospice caregiver. My trip to Hawaii is cancelled. I am privileged that Muriel calls on me to stay with her.

What I learn is more than I can convey. After all these years, nothing expresses the level of intimacy, stripped-down core encounter, that we shared. My life is redefined.

There is a quiet hush in the home that governs interactions. My years of meditation barely prepare me for this depth of connection. After all the communication, healing and death and dying training, I am invited to be wholly present. This is practicum. This is raw intimacy. The daily conversations are centered on real life and death concerns.

Every day I watch life around and in me move away from the mundane and into the subtle, still, sacred space. To be sure, there are conversations, dialogues, some easy, some not, risks taken, discoveries made. People daily come and go. We are also down to basics. But another aspect of life ushers itself into view as Muriel lies dying.

Daily, I take leave to drive across a bridge to work midday; it is shaping our letting go. These are not easy moments. One day, just as I am getting ready to leave Muriel’s bedroom, she shifts our dialogue from tentative leave-taking to true engagement.

“Good-bye,” she sings out in that singsong, lilting voice of hers. She is weak, yet her sparkling brown eyes twinkle as I start for the door.

“Good-bye,” I smile at her, singing our new song back to her, my hand slowly waving.

“Good-bye,” she sings out again, as I move into the living room.

“Good-bye,” I intone, voice quivering.

Over and over, our voices are singing out, one to the other, as I walk across the living room. There is no holding back this moment.

Our good-byes continue until her voice fades. I open the front door to the outside. My heart is wet with tears.

These experiences helped me be unafraid of death. They opened my heart. They opened me to deeper love. I know many people are fearful of natural dying experiences. I’ve been witness to traumatic deaths and their impact on families, friends and culture. I wrote this blog to start a new conversation, exploring a comfortable relationship with positive dying experiences.

Dear reader, do you remember when someone you loved died in a natural way and it opened your heart?