THANKSGIVING / A MEAL FULL OF GRACE

I’ve made peace with Thanksgiving. I feel affection for how it became a blessing day of gratitude and sharing.

I had a few issues with Thanksgiving that I needed to transform first. (Family baggage; USA’s Thanksgiving’s historical past and The Turkey.) As a young adult, I never grasped taking a life and then giving thanks over it; so I don’t. While I can’t undo Native American suffering at the hands of Pilgrims, I can bless Native American culture. As for family baggage, it’s meant to be released.

Harvest Festivals from around the world have a common theme: blessing, giving thanks and feasts with loved ones. Embracing other harvests gave me a deeper appreciation of what’s possible.

Onam is a Kerala festival honoring a time of freedom, protection and prosperity.

Thanksgiving in Brazil is about giving thanks to God for the harvest.

Great New Moon Festival is a ceremony of the Cherokee Nation.

Many Native Americans pay respect to Harvest festivals.

Korean Chuseok is a day of thanks and honoring ancestors.    

One of my favorite Thanksgivings was 21 years ago. I invited a niece and nephew, two close friends, their friend, my sister, brother-in-law and their two dogs, to come for a few days to a family vacation home that was my turn to use. We collectively would create the meal. My dog, Nami, offered to do kitchen clean-up.

I’d just unloaded grocery bags. I turned to everyone to discuss how to organize Thanksgiving preparations. Who wanted what?

My friend, Marie, was first to speak. Her question: “Karla, what would you have if you weren’t thinking about what we wanted?”

“Well, interesting question. Because I’m a vegetarian, I’d make things like, uhm: Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Pear Salad, Cranberry Sauce, Yeast Rolls, Mushroom Gravy, Holiday Stuffing, Mashed Yams, Pumpkin Pies. Maybe another pie and a Tofu loaf.”

Marie replied: “Sounds GREAT to me! Let’s have these dishes this Thanksgiving. We don’t need the other stuff.”

Everyone agreed!

My jaw dropped. I invited everyone to co-create Thanksgiving from all our favorite dishes.

“But you guys like that other stuff!”

“Well, this year we don’t,” Marie declared, with all heads nodding. “That’s settled. Let’s make a list.”

Vegetarian Thanksgiving was in progress.

I was blown away by everyone’s generosity. Thanksgiving became about deepening connections and true giving.

Cooking that day was fun. Finally, we sat around a candle-lit table, with ocean views and sounds. We shared gratitude. EVERYONE loved the food! The conversation was warm and plenty, just like our sated bellies.

While everyone else was sitting back from the table, digesting, I watched my sister reaching generously for more food. The rest of us moaned about how much we’d eaten. We all were preparing for an ocean walk. I stopped the conversation.

“Hey, Georgie, what’s up with you? You just ate more food than I’ve seen you eat in your whole lifetime! Normally, you nibble. Are you PREGNANT?”

“Wow, Karla, you’re good. I wasn’t going to tell anyone. But yes, yes, I am,” Georgie said beaming.

My jaw dropped one more time.

And this is how I shared one of the best, happiest and most amazing Thanksgivings of my life.

So, Reader, tell me about a time when you were really happy at Thanksgiving. Who was there and what contributed to your satisfaction?

GETTING TO YES AND STAYING THERE!

How many of you have gone down a road so long that you think it’s your contribution?

As early as five years old, people asked if I could help with their problems. It wasn’t just children; it was adults, too. Later, I found careers that put this skill to use. One of my bosses once asked me if my being successful in resolving problems was because I wanted her job. Huh?

Yes, but, if you keep on doing the same thing, what do you get? In my case: More problems!

Luckily, what also came naturally was seeing the good in everyone. I see positive futures and how to get there. Mid-careers, I found my true calling as a leadership consultant.

Being asked to help others solve problems did not disappear overnight, and it kept negative world views operational. Leadership development sees what’s working in people and organizations. Helping others to solve problems keeps you seeing what’s wrong.

It took integrity, transformation, and the support of mentors and friends for me to quit this habit. I was like a worn out dog who had given birth to too many litters.

Appreciative Inquiry, a leadership model, has this saying: “What you appreciate, appreciates.” If you’re constantly available to help others solve problems, you’re calling in more problems. If you want peace, then appreciate the peace in the world. You need to "see" what you want and that allows you to build that on that foundation and move into that pathway.

If want more wild horses, elephants and chimpanzees roaming free, appreciate the ones that are. If you want people happy and well, see them happy and well. “What you appreciate, appreciates.”

I’m no longer available for problems. I work with colleagues and clients who say “yes” to living and building on their strengths. It’s a myth that negative images inspire people to fix stuff; it brings people down. Seeing what works inspires action.

Today, someone on Facebook posted a video of Ellen talking with Gladys from Austin, Texas. I laughed and laughed! http://youtu.be/-jeCL9f2NNI. We’re all Gladys; we want it both ways. We want the good stuff while we dabble in the dark and negative. And we lose out on free trips to the Ellen show. 

In my life and work, I’ve joined a myriad of Facebook positive voices that post positive media communications. We’re creating a vortex of good energy to dip into.

There are many doing this; https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=486122528080113 and https://www.facebook.com/iamlivingpositive/info are two. Namaste Global Vision also shares inspiration: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Namaste-Global-Vision/212980952072457

This past weekend, I heard some difficult and sad news. When I shared it with a mentor, she encouraged me to offer my joy in the next days and months. Intelligent lady. She knew I couldn’t dwell on this sadness and be able to shift into my joy.

Monday, I posted this on Facebook:

JOIN ME IN WRITING THIS FUN-LOVING "BLOG" ABOUT JOY AND HAPPINESS.

Two Words. I’ll start.

The next person adds two words.

It posted for three days with twelve contributors:

Me:   I Delight

Tamara:  In Animal’s

Wendy: Loving Expressions

Words: Begin Within

 Debbie: Sharing Gratitude

 Me: For Unseen

Castagne: Bubbles of Joy

Kim:  I Can't Imagine

 Sharon: Universal Peace

 Me: And Yet

Sabia: Love Reigns

  Ambika: Inviting You

Kim: To Feel

Sandy:  The Warmth

Kim: And Power

Merrilee: Of Kindness

Me: That Gives

Kim: Us EVERYTHING!!!! 

Reader, what are your two words? What shift did you make to a positive path?